When we happily relocated to Central Texas from the Panhandle of Texas it was very, very exciting! We had three days to find a home. We searched in the heat and humidity for the place God wanted us to plant our roots. On the third day we found THE house, our home! The whole event was bathed in much prayer and we knew we had found exactly God's place for us. I felt completely at home the moment we arrived! My love for this place is the same now as it was way back when, although we have added character and many fond memories. I can't believe nine years has flown away so rapidly! Where did the years disappear to? My mind travels back over the time......
When we began our adventure here K was four years old and L was a baby. Over the years the boys room has slowly transformed from a bright colored babies room with plug protectors to a kids sports room crowded with trophies and video games. The crib was the first to go, then the Little Tyke toddler toys slowly dissappeared. The day of the big baby garage sale arrived. All the baby toys, cute little outfits, and precious furniture was going to be sold that day. I remember the night before I sat in the floor and sobbed. I just couldn't do it. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to that era of my life. I decided to keep even more of the boys priceless outfits and the crib and highchair have lived happily in the attic for the last several years gathering dust. Last year I finally parted with the highchair, but the crib remained unmoved . I think instead of transferring it to storage, it is time to let go. Why is it so hard?
I can't find the many years that have flown by in this house. I can hardly remember L sitting in the highchair at our breakfast table. I don't recall waking up K for his first day of Kindergarten. I think it is time for me to finally sit down and record all these memories in the scrapbooks I have put back for the boys. It is long overdue.
Last week I found myself crying continuously all day because of the reality of leaving our home! Do you have those days you don't even bother putting on mascara? Not knowing where we will be relocating for the next four month or so. It's not the house that I will miss! It's the fear of forgetting more of the precious memories of our lives that were lived here. The fear of growing older. The fear of facing the day when my boys will leave and lead their own lives. I want time to slow down! I look at the boys sleeping in their beds. K is a young man now. L is losing that baby face! Stop! Just for a moment! Stop!
I thought I would be able to write this post easier today, but my face it wet with tears. I am excited about the future and the new adventures that God has waiting for us! The next chapter of our lives is just beginning! God is Good and He has Great things in store for us! I have no doubt! But, I will go through more tissues and tears before we actually leave. After loading everything up, I will look at the empty house one last time and say goodbye to those precious days that God gave us in this place. I will slowly step out of the door and confidently pursuit the route God has paved for us! I pray that I will!
2 comments:
O yes, I live life with a box of tissues near by--this year I have walked through an empty house so many times and wondered where the years went. We both continue to be "blessed beyond belief" -- and God is so good--I believe you will able to walk out the door confidently and see the path God is paving for you! Life is such an adventure with Him! JB
wow!!! enjoy your new beginning and allow yourself to mourn moving on when it surfaces!!!!! hugs!
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