Paranoia, Will Destroy Ya!

I am losing my mind! Paranoia has gotten to me! Do you know what the definition of paranoia is? A mental disease with delusions of fame, grandeur,persecution. Well, let me explain......

As I have informed you, my 40th birthday is on Saturday! It's bad enough that this day is fast approaching, but for some reason I keep reminding you and others of this dreaded event! It has invaded my mind! When my husband turned forty last year I successfully pulled off a surprise party complete with black balloons, a black over the hill cemetery cake, black over the hill streamers, black confetti, and an assortment of over the hill paraphernalia! It was great! And, I have also told you about my goal in life to give everyone who has turned forty before me hell(to put it bluntly)! Therefore, I am paranoid!

This weekend a few small incidents took place that has clouded my mind. First of all, my mother called and wanted to know my husband office address. At first I didn't think much about it. Then at church yesterday, my friend April , whose daughter is in my Sunday School class, told me that they were going to come up to the class and take a picture for her daughters Social Studies class project. Okay, no big deal. When her husband came up to take the picture, he wanted me right in the middle of it! I thought it was a little strange! Last night I heard my husband open the door to the garage. I thought he went outside and I never heard him come back in. I thought it very strange that he was outside at 9:00 pm at night. It turns out he just was checking to make sure the garage door was closed and he was actually in the front office the whole time. The paranoia has taken control over me! When I asked my family and April what they have been up to, they all looked at me like I am crazed!

I HAVE LOSSED MY MIND!!!!!!!!!

A couple weeks ago after a baseball game, a few of my friends gave me a gift. It was from my husband (who was out of town at the time) and my three friends. He gave me a day at the spa and they were going to accompany me. They gave me the gift early because we had to schedule all of our treatments ahead of time. So, at that point I thought, "This is my 40th birthday gift!" No surprise birthday parties, no mean over the hill balloons or cakes, no posting really bad pictures of me from my younger days, no paranoia! Whew! I thought I could relax at that point. I can't relax! Could that be it? Am I making all this up in my head or are they planning a vicious scheme to pay me back for all of those false teeth and prune eating comments.

Well, on Friday I will spend a relaxing day at the spa! By then I going to be so tense and mentally diseased that I will need every bit of pampering they have to offer! Hopefully on Saturday I will be able to enjoy a nice pleasant birthday without any surprises!

Do you think they are going to let me off the hook that easy?